Ahead of today’s scheduled Russo-American peace talks in Alaska, Russian President Vladimir Putin has unveiled what he describes as a “historic and spiritual mission” to reclaim the territory for Russia. Speaking to state media before departing Moscow, Putin described Alaska as “an inseparable part of Greater Russia, part of our destiny and spiritual heritage, which was temporarily interrupted by a regrettable 19th-century property transaction.”

On Monday, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu nominated Donald Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize. In the same breath, he endorsed Trump’s plan to transform the depopulated ruins of southern Gaza — where over 57,000 Palestinians have been documented killed by Israel to date — into a luxury resort. This grotesque flourish topped a day of backroom deals in Washington, where Trump pushed a ceasefire not as a path to peace, but as leverage for a normalization agreement with Syria.

In a heartwarming show of international solidarity — or perhaps nuclear trolling — Russia today announced its willingness to give sanctuary to Iran’s enriched uranium. Not Iranian people, of course. Just the radioactive stuff. Human beings from the Middle East, other than current and deposed tyrants and their families, remain notably less welcome in Moscow than uranium hexafluoride.

As Syria embraces hard-won freedom after almost 14 years of revolution and war and over half a century of tyranny, both Israel and Iran are increasingly focused on the same objective: to undermine the new government and weaken Syrian unity.